With her last book, all the juicy parts were put together to make it controversial. I would not be surprised if the same thing is being done again. Whomever did the PR did a great job on her last book generating a huge amount of press:

Tiger Mom: Some cultural groups are superior - New York Post

Labels: Chinese Americans, interracial marriage, parenting, Tiger Mom

I am in a mixed Marriage, my wife is from Taiwan, so I am interested in mixed marriages, race, and culture. The part that was frustrating is this quote "However, the findings said men tend to be drawn to women from another race, contrast sharply with another recent study". Someplace I read that most studies are hard to replicate...

Online dating app reveals how race matters in romance | Mail Online

Related Posts:

Interracial Marriage Hits All-time High

Chinese American Marriage Tips

Labels: chinese american marriage, interracial marriage

Sham marriages do happen for immigration purposes. I remember how my wife and I were quizzed a bit by immigration when we had to go for her immigration interview. It was a nice visit and I still remember being asked for a wedding photo, and all I had was one from our engagement. The photo from our engagement was one I am not supposed to have, since my wife does not think it's flattering...  My opinion differs.

What was strange about this was it took 30 minutes to figure out it was a real wedding. This was in the UK, where laws are a bit different than the US.

'Sham wedding' raided by immigration officials - only to find couple Miao Guo and Massimo Ciabattini saying their vows were genuine - Mirror Online

Labels: chinese american marriage, interracial marriage

I watched the movie last night with my wife, Seeking Asian Female on PBS. It's about a white guy who marries a Chinese lady, half his age (30 vs. 60). The Chinese lady changes his life in a lot of ways he did not expect. A great quote in the movie  "was marriage is hard".

My take:

• The guy is very nice, but gets a lot more than he expected with Sandy, his wife.
• Sandy, the wife is smart
• The lady came from a very rural background, went to a large city and rose from being a factory worker to working in an office. I would not under estimate her.
• Sandy and Steven actually seem to love each other (the marriage was more than just for a green card).
• The film seems very truthful.
• The director became a lot more involved then she expected
• I would have liked to have heard more about the film makers relationship with her White husband (she is 3rd generation Chinese American, and grew up as an all American girl in Missouri).
• I am surprised there are so many people involved as writers for the film.

The film has also won a bunch of awards.

The TV version only has 53 minutes, where the full version has 82 minutes.

Labels: chinese american marriage, interracial marriage

You can watch the video, Seeking Asian Female on the PBS website for free through June 2nd. I highly recommend it for anyone in a mixed relationship (Chinese & White). It's even better if you understand Mandarin, but still good for those of us who don't. It's a feel good film that I enjoyed watching with my wife last night.

http://video.pbs.org/video/2365001610

Labels: chinese american marriage, interracial marriage

The producer of Seeking Asian Women also produced 5 shorts for the web you can view at http://theyreallsobeautiful.com/

The first on Yellow Fever. Interesting to watch.

The entire inter-racial marriage between Asian and White has been interesting to observe in the US culture. The majority is between White Males, and Asian Females. I have seen a few with an Asian Male with a White Female.

Labels: chinese american marriage, interracial marriage, Racism

Looks very good! If you are in a mixed relationship, you will understand.

Playing tonight, in LA area at 10PM 5-6-2013. Also available on iTunes.
http://www.pbs.org/tv_schedules/

Movie Website:
http://www.seekingasianfemale.com/

Interesting quote:

According to the filmmaker, there is an overriding perception that women of that particular race are more docile and make for obedient life partners, a stereotype that is offensive and often untrue.

Seeking Asian Female - Write up from the Daily Mail
The allure of 'yellow fever': New documentary explores why so many white American men aspire to marry Asian women - Daily Mail UK

About the movie:
Fourth-generation Chinese-American filmmaker Debbie Lum was inspired by personal experience to discover the psychology behind yellow fever. In the documentary, she follows the lives of Steven, a white 60-year-old Asiaphile, and Sandy, 30, his Chinese mail-order bride

Rotten Tomatoes Reviews:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/seeking_asian_female/

Foreign Bride as a Fetish and a Person - NY Times Review

Labels: chinese american marriage, interracial marriage

I have noticed a lot of ChildBook's customers are mixed couples, like my wife and me.

For the children, race loses its meaning. A high school friend of mine was Half Japanese and English, and she chose the racial classification based on what she felt would help her the most. And I agree, its blurring the color line. Its interesting to watch the politics on this. President Obama, for example, chose African American on his census form, even though his Mother was White.
Interracial Marriage Hits All-time High - Yahoo

Labels: chinese american marriage, interracial marriage

Interesting:
Australians can learn from traditional Eastern values to keep their marriages happier and and families intact.

My personal opinion, being in a mixed marriage with a mixed daughter, is a mix of both Western and Chinese culture is the best. A traditional Chinese culture for some, for example, discriminates against girl children, where one set of grand parents I know will not give their granddaughter any gifts, but gives their grandson gifts. I totally disagree with this one for example.

My Chinese American Marriage Tips which talks a bit about culture.

Labels: chinese american marriage, interracial marriage

I am in a mixed marriage that spans two cultures. My wife is from Taiwan and I am American. Parts of my side go back to before the revolution - Scots Irish farmers among others (Scottish, German, may be American Indian, French Canadian, etc), and ancestors of mine have been around California since the Gold Rush. There is a lot of differences in culture between an ethnic Chinese who's family has been here since the Gold Rush, and a first generation immigrant.

Chinese American Marriage Statistics:
Chinese marry non-Chinese in the US is 15%. The inter-marriage for Chinese Women is higher than men.

My observations/tips from my marriage and observing friends, family, etc:

1. Don't argue with your spouse in front of your in-laws or your parents. This includes raising your voice.
2. Chinese/Taiwanese/Korean are super focused on education and put a huge amount of pressure on their kids because they usually expect great results. They will sacrifice incredibly for their kids education. My daughter mentioned a friend who was in tears because she got I think it was a B on a test.
3. Expect to move to a good school district. This is usually done by looking at the test scores. For those who can afford it, private academies. In Southern California the school districts with a heavy Chinese population are San Marino, Arcadia, Walnut Valley/Diamond Bar, Rowland Heights, ABC Unified in Cerritos, Sunny Hills (more Korean there), etc.
4. If your Father-in-law offers you a drink, take it.
5. Don't be surprised if your in-laws move in with you. A recent trend I have seen is elder care, where the elderly are taken away during the day for activities.
6. Food - be adventuresome, and if your wife cooks it, eat it, or at least try it. Think of the Children's book, Green Eggs and Ham.
7. Politics dealing with China/Taiwan - usually a bad subject. Especially with other family or friends (lose lose topic usually).
8. Key term to learn - Soft Rice. Means you are being supported by your wife (babies are fed soft rice or gruel). Not a good term to hear.
9. Have a sense of humor and count to 10 or 100 as needed, for there will be a lot of surprises.
   
10. If your mate feels more comfortable communicating in Chinese with friends, just grin and bear it, especially if they have not seen each other for a while.
11. Ettiquette - I have noticed when friends are in the Chinese mode and eating they talk with their mouth open, just chat chat chat. When in the American mode, if you are talking while chewing with your mouth open or food in it, you get the look.
12. 12. First generation immigrants are often more achievement focused than second. So if you marry somebody first generation, they may be more focused on achievement than having a good time. Be aware of it after the initial puppy love wears off.
13. For buying a house, understand some basic Feng Shui. No houses with 4's in them (4's in Mandarin and Japanese has the same sound as death). 8's are great. This advice also goes for phone numbers. Don't be at the end of a street (which makes sense because Chinese Ghosts go in straight lines, and so can drunk drivers. The house diagonal from where I grew up from was up the street from the Elk's Lodge, and quite a few cars did not make the turn. Luckily they had this huge palm tree in the front). Never have a stair way from the 2nd floor that goes directly out to the front door (this lets out all the luck of the house).
14. Don't be surprised if your ethnic Chinese Spouse gets a heavy duty stove fan so they can do some real wok cooking. Most newer houses just are not made for cooking. Some houses in areas with large Chinese populations are actually putting in heavy duty gas burners and the heavy duty fans.
15. If your spouse is very frugal because they grew up poor, and are still penny pinching. Look at your own habits (like that morning cup of Starbucks).
16. Cars - Toyota, Honda, BMW, and Mercedes seem to be the preferred brands.
    
17. New is good for cars and houses. Usually they are not into used since who knows what spirits may be there. So if you are into old houses and fixing them up, you may want to have a serious talk with your spouse about this.
18. Child punishment. What may be acceptable to your spouse may be totally unacceptable to you. Like in some European countries, it's against the law to spank kids. In the US one spouse may view corporal punishment as fine, and another as criminal. And it's important to understand what is allowed by your states law anyway (like leaving Children alone at home at what age, corporal punishment, etc.).
19. Gifts - I suggest have the spouse of the culture of the giftee figure out what is acceptable. For example in Taiwan giving of clocks is not good (running out of time). English culture has a similar issue with giving of knives (the gift of a knife will sever the relationship). For Chinese weddings, red envelopes filled with money are appropriate.
    
20. Watch the Joy Luck Club and don't be like the husband about the ice cream.
21. Eat Drink Man Woman - Great movie to understand about Chinese culture and food.
22. All you can eat Sushi places are places your spouse may really like (they may also bankrupt the place).
23. Just because something is Chinese related, does not mean your spouse will automatically be interested in it. For example a first generation immigrant may have no interest in the Chinese American experience during the Gold Rush (and vice versa).
24. Chinese have this habit of laughing at non-Chinese speaking Mandarin due to pronunciation issues. It's always a bad idea of make fun of somebody who is learning a foreign language (like your spouses English), but there seems to be a double standard here. Just be aware of it.
25. Never sign your name in red (Japanese, Taiwan, and Korean culture issue).
26. In marriage, in Chinese tradition the groom's family pays for everything. In American, the Bride pays. Most wedding receptions are at a Chinese Restaurant (usually a dim sum place that is a sea food place at night).
27. Don't expect your wife to be the world's greatest cook. She may have been so busy and focused on going to school that she never learned how to cook.
28. Learn tPublish Posto use chopsticks and let your kids learn also. When around the Chinese side of your family, it looks better for you.
    
29. Never stick your chopsticks straight up in a bowl of rice.
    
30. Always finish all the rice in a bowl.
    
31. When going out with your parents, in-laws, ethnic Chinese friends to restaurants always pay the bill. This can get really interesting when people start doing the trick of accidentally paying the bill on the way to the restroom, fighting for the check from the waiter/waitress, etc..

Labels: chinese american marriage, Chinese Culture, Chinese Etiquette, interracial marriage